No Looking Backwards: July 2008

Screen porch.
Light rain.
Hot coffee.
Blueberry (freshly picked) pancakes.

Just sayin'.

As you were.

(aka: how I'm spending my summer vacation)

1. Took my grandfather's 50+ year-old outboard motor out of storage (3hp Johnson, 2-cylinder, PRISTINE condition), gassed it up, and took the girls for a putter around the lake.

2. Speaking of putters, played a superb round of mini-golf at Steamboat Landing in Naples yesterday.

3. Stocked the fridge with Guinness, Frye's Leap IPA, Bar Harbor Real Ale, and Pabst [censored] Blue Ribbon.

4. Went swimming with Finn.

5. Fried my eggs in bacon fat this morning.

Life is good.

Camp life is better.

Topped off the tank here the other day. $3.81⁹...what a "bargain".

Via Raven:

Keep the change, asshole.

I'll be on vacation for the next week or so up at the family compound. Feel free to drop by for a cold one and a burger.

Catch you later.

New law: Threats lead to jail time

NASHUA – A man who once claimed to be God has become the first person to be convicted under a new state law lowering the threshold for what can be considered a threat against public officials.

Lower than Nick Levasseur's personal threshold? Eleanor Kjellman's? I'm not sure if that's possible. But, what I am sure of is that, given their past history and shared love for turning law-abiding citizens into would-be felons, these two have got to be absolutely giddy over the dissent-crushing possibilities this "felon factory" of a law will open up for them.

It was always illegal to threaten a public official, but what was in the past generally considered a misdemeanor in most cases was also upgraded under the new law to a Class B felony. The change makes jail time more likely for those convicted of threatening the current and former governors, legislators, judges and a variety of other public officials and their families -- even if the public official has no reasonable fear for his or her safety.

Nope, no slippery slope or potential for prosecutorial abuse here.

Decreased burden of proof requirement for state prosecutors?

Lower threshold of what actions or words will now constitute a "threat"?

Misdemeanor charge upgraded to a felony?

What's not to love?

And, what's to stop an elected official from reporting to the authorities any and all dissenting correspondence received from his or her constituents, claiming, as Levasseur did, that the tone of the letter in question made them feel threatened?

I hear this strategy for dealing with the uppity riff-raff of the peasant class is quite popular among certain Long Island gun-grabber types, as well as those here at home.

I understand the intent behind the law, but there's just way too much gray area here. Where will the line be drawn between legitimate (albeit angry) criticism of the government and actual threats against the same? Who gets to draw that line? Nick Levasseur, Eleanor Kjellman, et al?

Surely, you jest.

"This is a new addition to the criminal code," said Senior Assistant Attorney General Jane Young. "It's a new crime."

It seems the state was running low on criminals (can't have that!), so the legislature decided to do what legislatures do best, make new ones.

Fabulous.

Tell me I'm being paranoid here.

Please.

What's worse than some arrogant billionaire throwing his money around in attempt to restrict people's right to choose to live their lives in whatever manner they see fit, while coercing world leaders into using their countries' tax codes as a means to sculpt "acceptable" social behavior?

Answer: Two of them.

For 50 bonus points, what's wrong with this MSNBC poll asking readers how they feel about pending legislation that would allow CCW-license holders to carry concealed weapons in National Parks if they're already permitted to carry a concealed weapon in the state where the park is situated?

By a 2-to-1 margin, the respondents favor allowing some level of CCW in National Parks. Note the first choice on the list reflects the position held by the bill's sponsors, where state CCW laws would govern.

But, they conveniently split the pro-CCW options into three separate answers, to create the illusion that "It should not be allowed" is the more popular choice. Why, it's almost as if they created that survey with the end goal of having that answer to come out on top.

I know what you're saying.

"Anti-gun rights bias at MSNBC??? Say it isn't so!"

(link via Blitz1 at the NES Forum)

Because predators come in all shapes and sizes, and are not known for announcing their arrival or letting their intentions be known ahead of time.

4 attacked by rabid fox in Raymond

RAYMOND – Police and residents alike are on the alert after a rabid fox attacked and injured four people in a 24-hour period.

[...]

Local police and state Fish and Game officials said the diseased animal's attacks began on Sunday about 2:15 p.m., shortly after the sighting of a "mangy-looking fox" in the vicinity of Abbey Road. By Monday at 9 a.m., three more people had been attacked.

Mike Matson, the Fish and Game officer who shot the fox, said an animal with rabies will often appear unusually docile, even allowing itself to be approached and petted by humans. But the fox responsible for these attacks was very different, he said.

Looks like its fox season in my backyard.

In one incident, Matson said a woman leaving her Harriman Hill Road home at 6:30 a.m. Monday heard a growl behind her. She turned around and the fox leapt and latched onto her arm.

On Sunday, Matson said a man was able to drive away the charging fox by hurling a lawn chair at it.

Sgt. David Spinney said two Harriman Hill residents were injured Monday morning. On Sunday, a person on Governor's Drive and another on Abbey Road were attacked. Officials would not identify the injured residents, citing privacy reasons.

When seconds count, the police ~~are only minutes away~~ will be on the scene to kill the rabid coyote tomorrow morning.

The follow-up story:

After a rabid fox attacked and injured four people in Raymond early this week, Bedford school officials snapped into action when a fox was seen lying in the middle of Old Bedford Road Tuesday: Staffers were armed...

Yeah, but you know this isn't going where it should.

...with air horns.

But, of course.

So, how does "Operation Air Horn" work, you ask?

"Before students go out on the playground, they have an adult scout the area to make sure there is no fox in the vicinity of the school," Conrad said. "If there is a need to go back into the school, they would sound the air horn."

Because nothing placates wild, rabid animals quite like a schoolyard full of running, screaming kids.

One shotgun blast at a time.

Nothing gets you over a case of writer's block like editing and posting another Bloggershoot video. These are worth, like, six or seven regular posts each.

How long before Massachusetts Attorney General Martha "We discourage self-help" Coakley gets this added to the Commonwealth's official list of banned, dangerous weapons, alongside the Supremo Slingshot, a five-dollar plastic toy condemned by her predecessor Tom Reilly?

The Unbreakable Walking-Stick Umbrella

Here's the video:

Speaking of Martha "Predatory child molesters have a right to a safe workplace." Coakley, I threw this one together a while back, but never got around to posting it.

(link via Instapundit)

Today's featured douchebag extraordinaire?

Bobby Brown:

Hunting for a comeback

Roxbury R&B bad boy Bobby Brown is running with a new crowd these days - hunters. Brown, who spent his summer filming the reality show "Outsider's Inn" with Maureen McCormick and Carnie Wilson in Tennessee, talked about hunting in the sticks at the TV Critics Association's press tour in California last week. "I just made sure I stayed in the back because, you know . . . sometimes . . . when you are going out in the woods with a bunch of - I don't know what to call them . . . rednecks? - usually, you know, the dark one gets shot," he said. "I just stayed back there with my gun ready just in case . . . somebody made a mistake and pointed it my way, I was ready to, you know, do my business."

It should go without saying that anyone who would hand this washed-up, wife-beating loser a loaded gun is a moron of monumental proportion.

It should also go without saying that Bobby Brown can go off into a closet somewhere and self-fornicate.

Step 1: Try to shore up your sagging conservative credentials by picking a guy for your running mate whose last political accomplishment was winning a statewide election in Massa-[bleep]-chusetts.

Let's hope this is just speculation.

Our researchers here at No Looking Backwards have just unearthed what they genuinely believe to be the earliest known footage ever recorded of the Furby Death Dirge, a ritualistic chant that helps the Furby, when faced with inevitable death, prepare itself for the afterlife.

The archaeological significance of this recording cannot be overstated.

Here's another interesting fact: like its distant relative, the Teletubby, the Furby is also quite susceptible to headshots through the eye socket.

Another video from this weekend's Northeast Blogger Self-Help Seminar.

The ~~force~~ Hopenchange is strong with this one.

There's nothing on Earth more cockle-warming than bringing a new female shooter into the fold at Bloggershoot and watching her rapidly progress from .22 rifles up to .38 wheelguns, AR-15's, Enfields, 12-ga shotguns, and finally trying her hand at a little full-auto goodness with a Madsen submachine gun.

Sorry, Martha, but Lissa doesn't look all that "discouraged". I realize the thought of women empowering themselves scares you senseless. And, I do feel your pain. What kind of precedent are we setting for our children? Who wants to live in a world where women are seen as independent and free citizens?

I mean, if women can't be forced to live their lives cowering in fear in the face of evil and groveling on their knees in the face of an authoritarian government, begging for your benevolence and care, then what's the point?

UPDATE: Just in case Breda isn't feeling sufficiently envious.

Marko:

"Heh, heh...very nice!"

UPDATE: See the trees behind the wooden backstop there? That's Massachusetts.

Here's a close-up showing the showing the stone marker.

Suck it, Cadillac.

And, because it's not every day you get to see what an exit wound on a Teletubby looks like when it takes a round through the eye socket from the back.

La-La will not be coming down for Tubby Toast.

...if it wasn't so brutally, and painfully true.

OK, one more Bloggershoot video before I retire for the evening.

Mmmm...hopenchange.

Jay G:

Let the games begin!

I think I need a little help defragmenting my hard drive.

More pics and video clips, as well as a complete after-action report from the Northeast Bloggershoot 2008, are on the way. Just as soon as I regain feeling in my right shoulder.

Here's a feel-good story to help kick off your weekend.

RAWLS SPRINGS, Miss. -- Police in Rawls Springs said a man who attempted to rob a woman in a home ended up shooting himself in the leg and now faces amputation.

Sheriff Billy McGee said the unidentified man, broke into a woman's home Thursday afternoon.

McGee said, the man was planning to rob the woman, but he was attacked by her dog.

When he tried to escape the attack, he shot himself in the leg, McGee said.

Officials said the man is being treated at Forrest General Hospital and will have to have his leg amputated.

So sad.

Not.

(link via Zendo Deb)

...gearing up and taking inventory for the 2nd (Not So) Annual Northeast Bloggershoot, getting all your ammo together, and finding four loaded stripper clips of 7.62x39mm after you thought you got it all.

Extra bonus happiness is finding two more unopened boxes (and a box of pistol ammo you forgot about), after that, on the floor of the gun cabinet, hiding behind the shotgun in the corner.

Panic, on the other hand, is finally getting all your shit together and realizing your 10/22 magazines are nowhere to be found. Hmmm...perhaps I stuck them in the bedside pistol safe.

Nope.

Range bag? Underwear drawer? Bedside table? Closet shelf? Rifle case under the bed?

No, no, no, no, and no.

OK, last chance...the rifle case in the loft over the garage?

Ahhhhh.

Happiness is finding your Ruger 10/22 magazines in the last place you could possibly think they might be, after having convinced yourself you were a dumbass and had left them on the bench the last time you were at the range.

OK...all set to go.

Now, does anyone in the area have an old car hood sitting around that I could "borrow"? I'll return it when we're done, albeit heavily perforated. I'm looking to do a side-by-side video comparison of a pump-action shotgun and a scary-looking "assault weapon", to see which one can put more holes in a car in ten seconds.

By all accounts (the gun controllers' fact-deprived accounts, that is), the "spray-firing bullet hose" should emerge victorious.

Right?

Yes, that's a rhetorical question.

WSJ (via Say Anything):

Adding to the humiliation is that Toyota will now take this investment and about 1,000 jobs to a more progressive and pro-business state: Mississippi.

The less "progressive" state?

California.

Refreshing to see that word used properly for a change, no?

Scurvy Dog Lemon and Lime Hot Sauce, made in Portland, Maine by W.O. Hesperus Co.

Great balance between flavor and heat. They rate it a 7 out of 10 on their hotness scale. I've tried some of their sauces, which are also quite excellent. The real hot ones are hot, but not Dave's Insanity hot.

Two thumbs up.

I don't want to wet my pants this morning from laughing too hard.

The Big Dig highway project will end up costing $22 billion by the time interest is included, and won't be paid off until 2038.

Of course, what they forgot to mention is that this $22 billion figure is only valid until the next catastrophic failure.

From the never-ending list of societal woes being brought to us by ~~global warming~~ climate change:

USA Today: Global warming may raise kidney stone risk

Oh, brother.

And, speaking of immoral, money-fleecing scams that would make Charles Ponzi blush with pride:

WASHINGTON (7-15-08) - Mathematical proof that there is no “climate crisis” appears today in a major, peer-reviewed paper in Physics and Society, a learned journal of the 10,000-strong American Physical Society, SPPI reports.

It claims there was a little "problem" with the IPCC's computer models (I know. I'm shocked too).

Christopher Monckton, who once advised Margaret Thatcher, demonstrates via 30 equations that computer models used by the UN’s climate panel (IPCC) were pre-programmed with overstated values for the three variables whose product is “climate sensitivity” (temperature increase in response to greenhouse-gas increase), resulting in a 500-2000% overstatement of CO2’s effect on temperature in the IPCC’s latest climate assessment report, published in 2007.

Come on, what's 2000% between ~~friends~~ Marxist co-conspirators.

There's also a great bit of advice in there from Christopher Monckton for John McCain and the rest of the self-proclaimed "conservatives" who are too busy fellating the preacher at the Alter of Global Climate Warming Change to pay attention to reality.

The correct policy approach to a non-problem is to have the courage to do nothing.

Amen.

The worst part of all of this, in my opinion, is the complicity of the country's mainstream media outlets, and the eagerness with which they're wiling to participate in this abhorrent scam - a scam designed solely to bring western capitalism to its knees, and to see Marxist redistribution of wealth enacted on a global scale, with the United Nations holding the purse strings.

I guarantee you won't read or hear one word on NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, etc. about this latest instance of scientists calling into question the validity of the IPCC's climate "research".

Had this report shown that the more valid computer models actually predicted an even more apocalyptic future for the planet than the one Al Gore's currently pimping, you wouldn't be able to escape all the "Planet in Peril!" and "Destination Doomsday!" banners being plastered across the country's newspapers, magazines, and TV news shows.

I'll take "Where's the reset button?" for $400, please, Alex.

Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley, ~~talking about~~ criticizing the father who punched out the guy he caught molesting his 4-year-old son in a supermarket men's room (and, who was subsequently arrested for his morally just actions).

"All I'm saying is that...we really try and discourage people from self-help."

Up yours, you arrogant, condescending, authoritarian tyrant!

Shame on you and every other fascist scumbag down in Massachusetts, suckling from the taxpayers' teat, masquerading as faithful servants of the public trust, whilst bending over to make life as comfortable as possible for the most reprehensible breed of subhuman filth walking our streets.

I pray that some day, should you find yourself in a similar situation, needing to indulge in a little "self-help", you have the wherewithal to step down off your high horse and comply with your own oppressive, authoritarian dogma, and surrender yourself to the next piece of garbage, lowlife predator looking to treat you like a slab of beef.

Now, ask me how I really feel.

The funniest part (not that any of this can actually be described as "funny") is that these people (not that any of them can actually be described as a subset of "We, the People"), and the idiots who continually put them in office (not that any of them...no, wait, they actually are idiots), are still, to this day, stumped as to what they could possibly do to keep all the productive taxpayers from moving out of the state.

Though, I have to admit, when I ask myself why I stayed in Massachusetts for as long as I did, I find myself stumped like you read about.

Don't open the door.

So, here's the sawbuck I built yesterday, based on the plans I found here [.pdf link]. I took the guy's advice and added extra inner supports, keeping the two outer pieces loose so they can be moved to hold shorter pieces if needed.

Will post a follow-up to let you know how it works. Once I remedy any bugs in the design, I'll rebuild it using pressure treated studs for something a tad more durable. Also, I'll let you know what I think of the Husqvarna 345e I picked up last fall.

UPDATE: Like buttah!

From the John Stephen for Congress campaign:

7:30 PM Tuesday (July 15th ) – Debate Party @ Murphy’s Tap Room, 494 Elm Street, Manchester

Watch John Stephen on MCAM with fellow supporters as he takes on Jeb Bradley.

John will join the party after the debate!

I'll be the guy in the Hawaiian shirt with the .45 on his hip. But, seeing how it's summertime in New Hampshire, that description might not necessarily narrow it down enough.

Add: Green floral print

UPDATE: I'll have free bumper stickers to give away to anyone who wants one (while supplies last).

On that note, if you're still waiting for stickers that you've ordered, I just sent out a couple orders today. The Paypal notifications had ended up in my spam mailbox again. Problem fixed. I think/hope.

UPDATE II: From the Event Planning for Dummies Handbook:

When scheduling a get-together at a location for people to meet up and watch your candidate in a local debate being broadcast on a local cable access station, call ahead to see if the location in question gets that channel from their TV service provider.

Oh, well.

A good time was had by all, regardless. One thing was quite puzzling to me, though. With all the people there who were carrying handguns, I don't know how anyone made it out of there alive. It should have been a veritable bloodbath of monumental proportion.

Those gun control types aren't lying to us, are they?

Say it isn't so.

Just wanted to say thanks for all the great wood burning "tricks and tips" you folks have sent along in your comments and e-mails. Who needs Google when you've got the smartest, most generous readers in the blogosphere?

Well, now I've got another one for you.

The Mrs. is looking at getting a small composter for the garden. Pretty much every model she's looked at online has user reviews ranging from "Best product ever produced by human hands!" to "I'd sooner jab a hot poker up my ass than buy this piece of crap again!".

So, what say you?

It could be store-bought or something I can build from scratch. We just want something that works.

OK, so you only live about an hour away from me, but this one's for you, Jim.

Can someone get Jim a tissue?

MA Governor Deval Patrick: Our gun laws aren't discriminatory enough.

Governor Patrick Files Bill to Drastically Increase License Fees

On Sunday July, 13, 2008 Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick filed a special appropriations bill for fiscal year 2008. (As of the filing of this report, the bill had not yet received a number.) Within this bill sections 24 - 27 drastically increase certain firearm licenses.

Sections 24 & 25 attack lawfully licensed firearm dealers by increasing their license fees from $100 for three years to $250. Then it adds a $100 inspection fee in years two and three of the license. This tactic would now turn a $100 three year dealer's license into a $450 three year license.

Section 26 would increase a resident License to Carry fee from $100 for six years to $200 for six years.

Section 27 would increase a non-resident License to Carry fee from $100 for one year to $250 for one year.

"In light of the recent Supreme Court ruling, this new proposal from the Governor can only be viewed as an attempt to tax people out of their civil rights," said Jim Wallace Executive Director of GOAL. "With this new proposal, the Governor continues to demonstrate his willingness to attack lawful gun owners while doing nothing to reduce violent crime. The highest court in the nation has ruled that citizens have an individual right to possess a firearm and now our Governor is trying to tax us out of that right!"

GOAL is urgently requesting that our members contact their local representatives and senators immediately and ask them to make sure this ridiculous tax on our rights does not pass into law.

Keep in mind, despite the verbiage above, this is not about obtaining a license to carry a concealed weapon, per se. This is a license to OWN a gun. If this law passes, it will cost the citizens of Massachusetts $200 to ask permission of the State to exercise their Constitutionally-protected right to keep a handgun in their homes.

If the applicant is denied (something the Chief of Police in his or her town can do for pretty much any reason he can dream up), the state gets to keep the 200 bucks.

Hey, those bodybuilding competition entry fees aren't going to pay themselves, you know.

Also, this bill would require a person from out-of-state to pay $250 a year for the ability to lawfully carry pepper spray or even possess one empty shell casing in Massachusetts. Got a job that's gonna have you commuting into Massachusetts for the next four years? Want to carry pepper spray while you're there?

That'll be $1,000 in licensing fees to carry a $10 can of pepper spray.

"Common sense".

And, because it bears repeating, don't forget that the people behind these outrageous fee hikes are the same "progressives" who will brand you a fascist if you suggest that people should be required to show a photo ID in order to cast a vote.

"What? That's the equivalent of a poll tax. You can't charge people to exercise a Constitutional right! That's racist! We must respect the rights of the poor!"

Sanctimonious, self-righteous pricks.

Got the floor finished yesterday.

Next step, roof, walls, and windows - and a second story if I feel so inclined. I put up the temporary railings so the kids could play on it (as if there was any way they were going to wait until the thing's finished).

And, yes, the $100 titanium hammer is quite nice.

So, how small should I be splitting my wood for the soon-to-be installed fireplace? Is there an ideal log "diameter" that I should be using for the most efficient burn possible? The Hampton website makes no mention of this.

Union Leader: Mother charged after leaving child in hot car

MANCHESTER – A 22-year-old mother has been charged with endangering the welfare of her one-year-old son, after police say she left him in a hot car while she shopped at the Mall of New Hampshire Friday.

Harriet Martey was arrested around 11:30 a.m. after a mall security guard rescued the crying child from the unlocked vehicle.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people? They have no business raising and taking care of gerbils, let alone small children.

I don't get it.

They'll carry the kid from the house to the car, strap the kid in the car seat, drive to the mall, find a parking space, and then suddenly lose all functionality of the squishy gray stuff (what little of it there is) between their ears.

TAKE YOUR KID WITH YOU INTO THE MALL!

It's pathetic that some parents actually need to be instructed to do that. What possible excuse could someone come up with for leaving an infant in the car like that, with the doors unlocked? It's like she was begging for the authorities to come in and take her kid away from her. Or as one person commenting on the UL article said:

It's almost like she wanted something to happen to her child...

I wish I could say that's an absurd notion.

Sad.

Another stellar example of Massachusetts-style justice here.

On injury leave, firefighter stood out as bodybuilder

For Boston firefighter Albert Arroyo, March and April were ostensibly rough months. He reported falling on March 21 and suffering a back injury so severe that, a few weeks later, his doctor wrote that Arroyo should be granted an accidental disability retirement because he is "totally and permanently disabled."

Yet, on May 3, after being out of work for six weeks and collecting his full salary tax-free, Arroyo achieved a remarkable feat: He finished eighth in a men's bodybuilding competition, the 2008 Pro Natural American Championships.

His "punishment"?

They're going to make him pay taxes (gasp! just like the commoners!) on the money they're going to let him continue stealing from the taxpayers of Massachusetts.

By late May, fire commissioner Roderick J. Fraser Jr. learned of Arroyo's strict training regimen and his record as a competitive professional bodybuilder. Fraser urged the Boston Retirement Board to deny the application. Two weeks ago, the Boston Fire Department shifted Arroyo, 46, from injured leave to regular sick leave, which is taxable, after its chief medical officer determined that any injury was not work-related, according to records turned over to the Globe by the city.

His "explanation"?

Arroyo, standing in the doorway of his Roslindale home on Friday, said he would not discuss the issue and asked a reporter to call his attorney, James S. Dilday.

In a subsequent telephone interview, Dilday said Arroyo had consulted but not yet retained him. However, Dilday said, "The bodybuilding helped him cope, emotionally and physically, with the travails and rigors of working as a firefighter."

Fraser said Arroyo told him that his bodybuilding helps ease his back pain - a claim that Fraser dismissed with a barnyard epithet.

Be sure to click the link above - there's video.

Let 'em eat arugula!

On a related note, here's a story I missed earlier.

Original Rush Drummer John Rutsey Dies

John Rutsey, a founding member of the seminal Canadian rock band Rush, has died, his family announced. He was 55.

Rutsey played drums with Rush from 1968 to 1974, as well as on the band's eponymous debut album, but departed soon afterwards, apparently due to a lifelong illness stemming from diabetes.

In a just world, Representative Ed Markey (C-MA) would be ~~strung up my his neck, swinging from an elm tree~~ collecting unemployment.

On the Spot (CNSNews.com) – A top Democrat told high school students gathered at the U.S. Capitol Thursday that climate change caused Hurricane Katrina and the conflict in Darfur, which led to the “black hawk down” battle between U.S. troops and Somali rebels.

Rep. Edward Markey (D-Mass.), chairman of the House (Select) Energy Independence and Global Warming Committee, also equated the drive for global warming legislation with the drive for women’s suffrage in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

And, this baboon's ass is a high-ranking member of Congress. All you Massachusetts folk must be so proud.

And, the worst part?

This shit is working.

Our schools are churning out an entire generation of brainwashed, non-thinking automatons, who are eating this shit up like there's no tomorrow. Which, of course, makes sense with all the "end of the world" horseshit being fed to them by Markey and the rest of these assholes.

The students who testified at the event, most of whom had lived in New Orleans prior to Hurricane Katrina in August 2005, described the difficulties they faced after the storm and blamed global warming for the disaster.

“Katrina woke me up and made me pay attention,” said 17-year-old Danielle Wold from Harvey, La. “One of the worst disasters in history made me want to do something. In 100 years, New Orleans could just be another Atlantis.”

Fifteen-year-old Stephen Bordes from New Orleans called on lawmakers to do something to end global warming. “Cutting carbon emissions is mainly in your hands since you pass the laws,” he said. ‘You basically control climate change. We should have changed yesterday, but it’s too late to change yesterday so we should start now.”

Stephen, wake up. You're an idiot.

And, of course, if you ask Markey, the debate is closed.

Markey also told the students that there no longer exists any debate about whether or not disasters like Katrina are caused by climate change.

It simply has to be true. Al Gore told him so. And, who better to listen to than someone who's set himself up to benefit financially from the future (federally-mandated) trading of "carbon credits"?

Gah! I can't even type the phrase "carbon credits" without my blood pressure going up on account of all the people who actually believe this shit.

“There now is no question that this harm is being caused by human activity,” said Markey.

Stay tuned for Markey's press release explaining how human activity is causing climate change on other planets, such as Mars and Jupiter. Gee, if only these planets all shared a massive, powerful energy source.

That might be something to look into.

Seriously, if this facade isn't unconditionally dismantled soon, and its perpetrators held accountable for the psychological damage they're inflicting on our kids, we are doomed.

I sought The Holy Grail.

Took the family there for dinner tonight. I had the Seafood fra Diavlo with a pint of Guinness to wash it down. Two well-satiated thumbs up.

Bruce's Rule of Thumb #20: Any place that carries Dogfish Head IPA on tap is OK in my book.

Just pulled the trigger on the purchase of a new wood-burning fireplace insert - the Hampton HI300 (metallic black). We were getting pretty fed up with burning wood in the open hearth and watching all our warm air getting sucked out of the house.

I got the last one in stock at a local fireplace shop, where they told me the prices are going up 8% in a week. I'll take the $260 price difference any day.

Can't wait to fire it up come winter time.

This is just sickening.

RAYNHAM, Mass. -- A 4-year-old boy was allegedly groped in the bathroom of a grocery store by an employee and the boy's father took the matter into his own hands, police said.

The boy's father attacked the perpetrator during the incident at the Market Basket in Raynham last month.

Police said that Valerio Rodriquez, 71, allegedly reached underneath a bathroom dividing wall and touched the boy high on his leg while he was standing on a bucket to used in the next urinal.

The boy's father, who was also in the bathroom during the incident, told police that he forced open the door and punched Rodriquez several times.

Police charged the boy's father with assault for hitting Rodriguez.

Oh, but don't worry. It gets worse.

One Raynham father is taking justice into his own hands, warning other parents this week about an alleged “predator” who he says groped his 4-year-old son in a supermarket bathroom last month.

Police said the suspect, an elderly janitor at Market Basket, allegedly reached under a bathroom stall partition and touched the boy’s calf while the child was standing on a bucket June 1.

The boy’s enraged father, who police said saw it happen, allegedly flung open the adjacent stall and punched the janitor, giving him a cut on his lip and a welt on the middle of his head.

The employee, Valerio Rodriguez, 71, of Providence, allegedly told police through a translator “that he was wrong for touching the little boy.”

Although Rodriguez faces a felony charge, the father, Jason R. Beatrice, 31, was reportedly horrified to see him still cleaning floors at Market Basket when he visited the store July 4.

“He was pushing a mop bucket smiling at children,” reads an anonymous flier, which police said Beatrice authored and distributed in Raynham.

A cut lip and a bump on the head? The father should have been given an award by the Chief of Police for showing such restraint and compassion.

This scumbag pedophile got off easy.

But, then again, we're talking about Massachusetts, the "Scumbag Got Off Easy State".

And, if it's true that he was still working in the store in the weeks following this incident, then shame on anyone who continues shopping there. I don't care what the price of gas is, I'd be more than happy driving the extra two miles to Tedeschi's to get my grocery shopping done.

SWEET!

Sure, it will be with our tax dollars, but what the hell? That's a whole lot better than funneling our money into all the other Marxist wealth redistribution schemes he's cooking up for us.

Obama outlines plan for national service

"We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we've set," he said Wednesday. "We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well funded."

What?

That's not what he meant?

Oh.

In that case, this socialist gnatsack, can go hump a tree (Rhus vernix, preferred). Because, there's absolutely no way in hell he's referring to anything remotely resembling that which John F. Kennedy was talking about when he said:

"Today, we need a nation of Minutemen, citizens who are not only prepared to take arms, but citizens who regard the preservation of freedom as the basic purpose of their daily life and who are willing to consciously work and sacrifice for that freedom."

So, allow me to apologize ahead of time, Dear Would-Be Leader, for my future refusal to play along with this half-baked scheme of yours. Sorry, but brown just ain't my color, and I look like crap in armbands.

He said he would make federal assistance conditional on school districts establishing service programs and set the goal of 50 hours of service a year for middle and high school students.

Will volunteering to set up and run gun safety classes for their peers be on the "Obama Youth Approved Curriculum Roster"?

For college students, Obama would set the goal at 100 hours of service a year and create a $4,000 annual tax credit for college students that would be tied to that level of service.

Obama said he realizes there will be skeptics, but stressed that greater public service will make the nation safer.

"Our destiny as Americans is tied up with one another," he said. "If we are less respected in the world, then you will be less safe."

Up yours, asshole. If anything's going to make the world less safe for my kids, it would be allowing them to enroll in one of your "volunteer" ~~indoctrination camps~~ "service programs".

If you'd like to discuss this matter further, you can find me out back of my house, teaching my daughters how to shoot a rifle.

Just follow your ears.

(link via The Rottweiler)

Well, they might as well run that headline next. I mean, what can't global warming...oops, sorry..."climate change" do?

CBC News (Canada): Global warming causing California glacier to grow, scientists say

I'll buy that.

Why, just yesterday, global warming cleaned the siding on my house, pruned my hedges, and made me a nice grilled cheese for lunch.

Just pulled out a Hint of Lime Tostito with enough sodium-enhanced, fake green lime powder on it to choke a small mule.

Sweet.

That'll fix things.

UN: 1 peacekeeper killed in Darfur attack

KHARTOUM, Sudan - A United Nations spokeswoman says one peacekeeper has been killed in an ambush by dozens of gunmen in Sudan’s Darfur region.

Hell, while you're at it, throw in a couple more star-studded rock concerts (one for each coast), and you'll have just bought yourself another year's worth of liberal, white guilt assuagement.

Frickin' ding-dongs.

Because, if it isn't, the "reset button" is a lot closer that I thought.

Washington Times: Want some torture with your peanuts?

Just when you thought you’ve heard it all...

A senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called safety bracelet that would serve as a stun device, similar to that of a police Taser®. According to this promotional video found at the Lamperd Less Lethal, Inc. website, the bracelet would be worn by all airline passengers (video also shown below).

This bracelet would:

• take the place of an airline boarding pass

• contain personal information about the traveler

• be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage

• shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes

The Electronic ID Bracelet, as it’s referred to, would be worn by every traveler “until they disembark the flight at their destination.” Yes, you read that correctly. Every airline passenger would be tracked by a government-funded GPS, containing personal, private and confidential information, and would shock the customer worse than an electronic dog collar if the passenger got out of line.

Oh, but don't worry. The manufacturer has passed along this most reassuring update.

We wish to clear up any misconceptions regarding the EMD Safety Bracelet for Airline Security.

The bracelets remain inactive until a hijacking situation has been identified. At such time a designated crew member will activate the bracelets making them capable of delivering the punitive measure - but only to those that need to be restrained.

Such as any "unruly passengers" who might be in the process of beating the shit out of a would-be hijacker?

We believe that all passengers will welcome deliverance from a hijacking, as will the families, carriers, insurance providers etc.

I believe you and any bloated government-employed stooge who would even think that this as a good idea can go into a dark corner and self-fornicate.

The F-16 on the wing-tip is not to reassure the passengers during a hijacking, but rather to shoot them down. Besides activation using the grid screen, the steward / stewardess will have a laser activator that can activate any bracelet as needed by simply pointing the laser at the bracelet - that laser dot only needs to be within 10 inches of the bracelet to activate it.

Well, thanks for clearing that up.

I feel better now.

I mean, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Strap me in.

And, in case you need reminding.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

UPDATE: Not a joke, but a misunderstanding, of sorts.

Michelle Malkin has the info.

Color me semi-placated.

Not that anyone needs any additional evidence to demonstrate how utterly clueless the editors of the Boston Phoenix are when it comes time to wrote a story about gun-related issues, but I came across this stellar example of editorial fact-checking, when I was reading their recent Heller-PSH screed.

It's from April of 2007. I missed it the first time around, and I'm torn between letting it die silently in the Phoenix archives and posting some of its abject stupidity here to share it with the rest of the class.

I'm gonna go with Option B, thanks.

It's pretty much a cut-n-paste job from the Menino Crimefighting Handbook, placing the blame for Boston's gang-related homicides on the usual suspects: the guns (evil inanimate objects, eek!), inadequate funding of the court system (hold on to your wallets), and New Hampshire's laws that respect the rights of all citizens to defend themselves and their loved ones.

Yaaaaaawn.

Here's a quick taste of the kind of reality disconnect we've come to expect from these enlightened "progressive" types:

Murder in Boston takes place at a slower, but equally relentless pace. Week by week, multiple gunmen shoot and kill their neighbors at an alarming rate.

[...]

The good news is that Massachusetts has some of the most restrictive gun laws in the country.

You don't say.

And, whatever you do, don't bother trying to explain to them what the Second Amendment is all about, or how free people have the right to defend themselves. That's all a bunch of "zany lies and ignorant rhetoric".

The zany defense rests.

But, that's not even the reason I chose to resurrect this piece from its well-earned, archival grave. It was because of this priceless nugget from their itemized list of Massachusetts' fabulous gun laws and regulations.

...the attorney general maintains an exhaustive list of banned high-power models...

Sorry.

Wrong.

The Attorney General maintains a list of firearms approved for sale in Massachusetts by federally-licensed firearms dealers. And, it has nothing to do with the "power level" of the guns in question.

Facts? We don't need no stinkin' facts! We're the Boston Freakin' Phoenix, man! We know everything!!!

Let's review, shall we?

From the MA ~~Attorney General's~~ [edit: Executive Office of Public Safety's] Approved Firearms Roster:

(click image to enlarge)

Keep in mind, the Phoenix is part of the liberal news media in Boston that has brought us such pearls of wisdom as...

On July 12, police seized a sawed-off Crossman (sic) high-powered 66 Powermaster .177 caliber rifle...

~ Allston/Brighton TAB - July 2006

and...

The guns, commonly called "airsoft" guns, are high powered, often semi- or fully automatic, and fire plastic or metal pellets that can cause serious harm.

~ WBZ TV, Boston - May 2006

Any questions?

Didn't think so.

UPDATE: Reader Jeff points out in the comments that the firearms experts at the Phoenix actually made three factual errors, not two, in that short, 12-word excerpt above.

Minor nit: The Approved Firearms Roster is maintained by the Executive Office of Public Safety, not the Attorney General. The AG's bogus "Consumer Protection Regulations" are a whole separate issue. There's no list, just enforcement letters when the AG decides they don't like something. Arbitrary and capricious doesn't begin to describe it.

I hand my head in shame for not catching that one. It's all this annoying fresh air up here that must be affecting my memory. Thanks much, Jeff.

Wow.

That felt weird.

I was watching some baseball highlights just now and I found myself rooting for the Yankees to beat Tampa Bay.

I think I need a shower.

And some penicillin.

Yes, it's that time of year again. Time for the bears of the world to start eating anything they can get their paws on to get their bellies full for their long winter naps.

WMUR is reporting several bear spotting in Plaistow, New Hampshire over the weekend.

Apparently, bears like birdseed.

Duh.

Someone who doesn't need to be told that is longtime mB/NLB reader and friend, Angus Lincoln, who lives up in Jackson. We hooked up for dinner and drinks a few days back and he showed us to what lengths a bear will go, trying to get at the big bag of birdseed in your trunk, should you find yourself too lazy to bring it inside when you get it home.

Bear 0, Birdseed 1

And his insurance company covered the damage.

Also, from the WMUR story:

Animal control officials said the last time the bear was spotted, it was headed across the border to Haverhill, Mass.

Well, you know what they say about predators preferring to operate in gun-free zones. I know if I was a bear, I'd much rather hang out in liberal la-la land than anywhere up here.

Everyone knows a .25 or .32-caliber pocket pistol is the weapon of choice in a situation like this.

POTTER VALLEY, Calif. — A Mendocino County woman who was trying to kill mice in her trailer with a gun ended up shooting herself and another person.

The 43-year-old woman pulled out her .44-caliber Magnum revolver after she saw the mice scurrying across the floor of her trailer on Highway 20 in Potter Valley, sheriff's officials said.

But she accidentally dropped the gun, which went off as it struck the floor. The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, bounced off the keys sitting on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man in the trailer and grazed the man's groin before ending up in his coin pocket.

Why else would they be called "mouseguns"?

Alternate Post Title: Go Ahead, Eat My Cheese

George Barnes had this post-Heller piece up last week in the Worcester Telegram. He started out on some pretty solid footing...

The U.S. Supreme Court finally got it right on a gun case.

The court vote Thursday correctly struck down a Washington, D.C., ban on handgun ownership in the district. It also deemed unconstitutional the city’s requirement that homeowners keep trigger locks on legal firearms kept in their homes or keep the firearms disassembled.

...but it only took him a couple paragraphs after that to start sliding off the continental shelf of rational thought.

The ban appeared to be very much at odds with the Constitution and people’s right to keep and bear arms, if that is what they need to do. It is said people need guns for self-defense because, heck, the only thing protecting them, other than their handguns, are local and state police and sheriff’s departments, federal agencies such as the FBI, the Drug Enforcement Administration, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, and the Secret Service. There are also National Guard units scattered throughout most states and environmental police officers wandering the woods.

So, essentially, he's saying the court got the call right, but the amendment itself is simply not needed in today's America. You know, because we've got all these fabulous government agencies to provide us with 'round-the-clock protection.

Uh-huh.

Here's another George Barnes article, from September 2006.

2 arrested, 1 sought after gunshots fired

GARDNER— One man was injured, two men are under arrest and a third is being sought by police following a wild incident outside a wake that was being held Friday night at a funeral home on Pleasant Street.

Lt. Gerald Poirier said police were called to Poliks Funeral Home, 431 Pleasant St., at about 7:39 p.m. after receiving reports of shots being fired in front of the building.

[...]

Lt. Poirier said people at the funeral home directed police to a bleeding man in the street. The 46-year-old Worcester resident, whose name was not released, told police he had been beaten, forced into a vehicle at gunpoint by three men and driven to the funeral home.

What? The police showed up AFTER the violent crime had occurred? And, they had to be directed to the bleeding man in the street? They weren't able to protect this man from being harmed by violent criminals? I'm SHOCKED!

Yet, strangely, there's no criticism by Mr. Barnes of the Gardner Police Department's failure to provide the victim with his personal 24-hour bodyguard. Go figure.

So, congratulations, Mr. Barnes! You're this month's proud recipient of the Journalistic Credibility of Tree Bark Award.

Oh, and if you need another reason not to click through and read his piece de retardance, here are a couple.

With all the other problems this country has, anarchy is not desirable, and that is what is likely to happen if everyone is running around their yards enforcing neighborhood decorum with loaded pistols.

Fear, meet monger.

Like needing a handgun for protection in your home, semiautomatic weapons seem unnecessary, and are not very sporting.

Yeah, what kind of paranoid whackjob needs a handgun to protect his family? It's not like a deranged naked man is going to crawl through a window of your house, clutching a tube of mechanical lubricant, and yelling "I'm gonna get you!" as he makes his way toward your kid's bedroom.

Douche, meet bag.

This guy wouldn't recognize a sporting firearm if a wooden crate full of them fell on that vacuum chamber of his he calls a skull.

How can you tell when the man-made global warming movement and its braindead, leftist disciples have jumped the shark?

Hint: Floating 'Lilypad City' Could Help Climate-Change Refugees

Imagine what life would be like floating around the world on a giant island capable of holding 50,000 people and completely sustaining itself. Well, welcome to "Lilypad City."

Designed like a lily pad, the innovation by award-winning Belgian architect Vincent Callebaut could be used as a permanent refuge for those whose homes have been covered by water in the future, London's Daily Mail reported.

I don't know what to say.

Oh, wait...on second thought, I know exactly what to say.

I especially like this part.

A lake in the middle of the island will collect and then purify rain water, while power will be provided through a series of renewable energy sources including thermal, solar, wind energy, hydraulic and a tidal power station, the Mail reported.

Tidal power station??? On an island city that floats on top of the tides? Am I missing something here?

Found this one at Unc's place.

Whatever your view of guns, you should endorse this decision and be sickened by - even angry - over the shameless and disingenuous attempts of dissenting Justices Stephen Breyer and John Paul Stevens to reserve part of the Bill of Rights for state governments and deny it to citizens.

Of course, the Boston Phoenix sees things differently. And, by "differently", of course, I mean "mind-blowingly idiotically".

For a full dissection of the case, see the well-argued (and appropriately outraged) two-part dissent written by Justices John Paul Stevens and Stephen Breyer. Suffice to say that Justice Antonin Scalia, in his almost willfully irrational majority opinion, finds that the Second Amendment “elevates above all other interests the right of law-abiding, responsible citizens to use arms in defense of hearth and home.” If you can find anything in the Second Amendment’s 27 words that remotely supports that conclusion, well, you apparently are fit for today’s Supreme Court.

I'll have to go back through the Phoenix archives to see if they put forth an argument with equal criticism for the Supreme Court Justices who were able to find a woman's right to have an abortion in the text of the Constitution.

Hey, stop laughing!

As I commented there:

Wow, someone's been drinking the bongwater. Typical leftist, sour grapes twaddle. In summation: Jurists who can find a right to abortion in the text of the Constitution are enlightened scholars of the law, while those who find the people's right to keep and bear arms are crackpots. Your side lost. Liberty won. Suck it up, kids. And you wonder why they have to give away their newspaper for free.

The rest of that editorial is just as laughable. Well, it would be laughable if it weren't for the fact that young people are reading that garbage and nodding along in unison, like the good, little, brainwashed Obamabots they've been turned into.

It's like they've been huffing "I Hate George Bush" brand shoe adhesive for so long, they're no longer capable of forming a rational argument for anything coming out of their heads.

Also, with gems like this...

It seems likely, as some legal analysts have already noted, that this new right will have to extend to felons, to public places (including schools), and to ever more dangerous weaponry.

As Stevens points out in his dissent, the majority justices have now tied the hands of legislatures and law-enforcement professionals in this country.

...it's pretty clear that whoever wrote this had no interest in actually reading the decision, but just wanted to spew a bunch of idiotic, leftist, Bush-bashing talking points for the purpose of keeping their readers numb and happy.

Unless they're lamenting the fact that this decision ties the hands of law-enforcement "professionals" like that hero of Constitutional liberties, DC Police Chief Cathy Lanier, who would rather see innocent people beaten, robbed, raped and killed than afford them the right to defend themselves against the District's heavily armed criminal population.

Yeah, that's a real shame.

And, in case you needed further proof of how far out-of-whack this alleged "news"paper is...

Hopefully, [Americans] will make McCain pay for his recent shift to the radical right.

Gee, who wouldn't want to part with their hard-earned money for such brilliant punditry and political insight as that?

Because, I know I wouldn't exactly be losing any sleep if this story had included the phrase "drilled the asshole a third eye socket".

FALMOUTH (WBZ) ― A group of youths allegedly attacked a dad and his family on the Fourth of July after accusing them of being Yankees fans.

Falmouth police said Robert Correia, 20, and several other young men approached a family in their car, which had New York plates, and began to harass them about being Yankees fans.

According to police, the family was unable to move their car away from the group because they were stuck in post-fireworks traffic. The dad asked the group to go away because his kids were in the car, police said, but the alleged attackers would not leave him alone.

Correia and the group allegedly assaulted the dad with a baseball bat.

He sustained a head injury and other injuries as a result of the attack.

I blame ~~the NRA~~ Major League Baseball. ~ Mumbles Menino

UPDATE: I wonder if these assholes are related.

FALMOUTH (WBZ) ― The town of Falmouth is outraged after a teen pulled a mean and dangerous prank on an elderly man fishing with his grandson.

According to police, a 14-year-old boy, whose name is not being released, ran up behind a 71-year-old man and pushed him off a dock at Megansett Beach and into the ocean Sunday afternoon. "Some kid just came running from out of nowhere, came running down the dock and just pushed him in the water," said Anthony Julian, who witnessed the attack.

The man pushed into the water had cuts on his knees from the fall and lost a pair of expensive eyeglasses. "I saw the guy... He came out... he was bleeding on his knee and he was just so shaken up. He had his inhaler, his wallet, his cell phone all in his pocket... all destroyed."

Planning a trip to the White Mountains region of New Hampshire this summer for a little rest and relaxation?

Well, if you're thinking of booking a cottage (cottage #8, specifically) at Sky Valley Motel & Cottages in Bartlett, I hope you like "rustic". And, I hope your definition of "rustic" includes the following phrases:

- Floor lamp in the kids' room held together with drywall screws, L-brackets, and electrical tape.
- Bedside table lamp in the kids' room not held together with an old, dried-up piece of duct tape.
- A bathtub faucet that gurgles incessantly, because it can't be turned off.
- Electrical outlets without cover plates.
- Smashed up baseboard heaters (OK, this one's not that big of a deal in the summer).
- Rusty, old stovetops with knobs that keep popping off.

(click to enlargify)

I tried to take picture of the stench of stale cigarette smoke that greets you in the main office as you make your way back to the Poolside Cafe, but it wouldn't photograph well.

Neither would the fleas* that we saw in the bathtub as we were packing up, or the non-existent electrical outlet in the phonebooth-sized bathroom.

Needless to say, we won't be returning anytime soon.

*OK, I'm not sure they were fleas, but they were tiny, little, jumping insects. And, I prefer my bathtubs tiny, little, jumping insects-free. I'm finicky like that.

UPDATE: My bad. Make that $199 a night.

I wonder if any of my readers would be willing to help out old Mumbles here. He seems to have run out of scapegoats.

WCVB:

BOSTON -- It was a violent Fourth of July evening around Boston, as six people were shot, and two of them were killed, police said.

A 17-year-old boy was shot in the head and killed at a cookout on Edwardson Street in Hyde Park at about 8 p.m., police said.

In a separate shooting in Hyde Park, four people were shot on West Street, near Hyde Park Avenue, and suffered nonlife-threatening injuries, police said.

And early Saturday morning, a 21-year-old man, who was walking with friends, was killed in a shooting on Dabney Street in Roxbury, police said. The killing was Boston's 33rd of the year, one more than at this time last year.

“We can’t explain it. We never know what’s going to happen, but last night was one of those nights we all regret,” said Boston Mayor Thomas Menino.

Translation: I got nothing. You know it. I know it. Vote for me.

I finally got off my ass and got the firewire cable I needed to transfer video from my camcorder to my laptop. Stay tuned for more clips from Northeast Bloggershoot 2005.

Meanwhile, enjoy this short clip of Jay G. showing off his psychic abilities.

UPDATE: Here's a little full-auto goodness, brought to us by longtime reader and fellow Massachusetts escapee, Andrew.

Think this one will make the highlight reels?

Longtime reader and commenter, ASM826, has opened up shop in this strange world we call the blogosphere.

If you're a liberal, planning to vote for B. H. Obama, think guns are a problem, think global warming is going to kill us all, or don't eat meat because it's mean to other species, this will not be the blog for you.

Welcome aboard, friend.

If such a thing existed, it would most likely involve the lawful, armed defense of one's home with a little barbecue sauce slathered on for good measure.

Houston, we have a winner.

APPLETON, Wisc. (NEWSCHANNEL 3) - A couple telephoned police in the middle of the night after finding a man in their basement covered head to toe in barbecue sauce.

"He told the officers that it was urban camouflage," said the homeowner.

This happened in Wisconsin.

The homeowners say they woke up to whistling sounds.

The husband grabbed his shotgun and headed toward the basement where he found the sauced-up intruder.

He held him at gunpoint until police arrived.

The guy told officers he covered himself in barbecue sauce because he wanted to hide from the government.

(link via Ace of Spades)

...call someone who cares.

PLANTATION, Fla. -- The family of one of the men who was shot by a retired United States Marine while they attempted to rob a Subway sandwich shop said the customer shouldn't have pulled the trigger.

According to Plantation police, two armed men barged into the Subway at 1949 Pine Island Road shortly after 11 p.m. Wednesday, demanding money from the employee behind the counter. When they tried to force John Lovell into the bathroom, he pulled out a gun and shot both men, police said.

Donicio Arrindell, 22, was shot in the head and later died at the hospital. Fredrick Gadson, 21, was shot in the chest and ran from the Subway, but police found him in hiding in some bushes on the property of a nearby BankAtlantic.

Hey, in baseball, if you hit .500, you'll become an instant legend. Good shooting, sir, I say.

Lovell, 71, was the lone customer at the time. Police said he had a concealed weapons permit.

Also known, in some circles, as the United States Constitution.

Gadson's grandparents told Local 10 on Thursday that Lovell was wrong for pulling the trigger.

"He should not have taken the law in his hands," said Rosa Jones, Gadson's grandmother.

Yes, by all means, he should have done the "progressive" think and allowed himself to be killed by your sub-human, piece-of-garbage* grandson and his scumbag friend. How dare he violate their right to prey on the elderly???

* Apologies to garbage, I mean no offense.

UPDATE: I should have looked at the date on that story before posting. I thought it looked awfully familiar.

...and to die for.

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

That took balls.

Great, big, freedom-loving balls.

...if you think Patriots defensive back Willie Andrews will be given the mandatory (HEY! Stop laughing! Work with me here, people.) one-year prison sentence for unlawfully possessing a firearm in Massachusetts.

Troubled New England Patriot Willie Andrews is behind bars again after allegedly holding a powerful handgun to his fiancee’s head when she accused him of cheating on her.

The couple were arguing when the 24-year-old Pats defensive back allegedly pulled a .45-caliber Glock, waved it around and then held it to her temple, the 23-year-old woman told police.

[...]

He was arrested at his apartment soon afterward, and a .45 Glock was later found near a Dumpster outside his apartment complex, police said.

Andrews was arraigned yesterday at Attleboro District Court on charges of assault with a dangerous weapon and possession of a high-capacity firearm without a Firearm Identification Card.

[...]

It is the second time the Patriots defensive back has gone afoul of the law this offseason.

In February, just two days after the Patriots’ Super Bowl defeat, Andrews was busted in Lowell for driving around with a half-pound of marijuana and $6,800 in cash in his car. That case was continued without a finding.

Andrews was also jailed for 30 days in his native Texas after being caught by cops with a .25-caliber pistol in the trunk of his car while on probation for a criminal mischief conviction.

He better watch himself. A couple dozen more incidents like this and Massachusetts' tough 30-strikes law will kick in, and then he'll really feel the wrath of the Massachusetts criminal justice system.

They might make him miss a practice!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Feelin' the Stress

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Dispatch From the Maine Woods

Sunday, July 27, 2008

How Much For the Dirty Gas?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words Rubles

Friday, July 25, 2008

Who's Thirsty?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

A Dangerous Precedent

Question

Nope, No Agenda Here

Reason #62 Why I Carry a Gun

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Fighting Writer's Block

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Soon-To-Be Banned in Massachusetts

Give Us This Day Our Daily Douchebag

How To Lose an Election In One Easy Step

Monday, July 21, 2008

Quite the Find

This One's For Martha Coakley

Quote of the Day: Full-Auto Edition

This WOULD Be Funny...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Redneck Skeet Trap

Quote of the Day

Hello, Geek Squad?

Friday, July 18, 2008

Good Dog!

Happiness Is...

Quote of the Day

Thursday, July 17, 2008

NLB Product Endorsement of the Day

I Gotta Ba Careful Here

Shark, Meet Fonzie

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

This Is Unbelievable...Not

Rule #1

Working Prototype

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Anyone Thirsty?

Mucho Grassy Ass

Monday, July 14, 2008

Long-Distance Dedication

Yeah, That's the Problem!

Project Treehouse - Phase I

Somewhere Between a Toothpick and a Tree Stump

Parenting 101

Scheming Scumbag of the Day

There's No Iceberg

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Indoctrination of Our Youth Continues

Saturday, July 12, 2008

What...Is Your Quest?

Feel the Burn

Friday, July 11, 2008

Massachusetts-Style Justice

Thursday, July 10, 2008

For the Poodle-Shooter Naysayers

Barack Wants to Buy Us All Guns!!!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Global Warming: It Can FOLD LAUNDRY!

Simple Pleasures

Quick! More Yard Signs!

Please, PLEASE, Tell Me This Is a Joke

Beating the Dead (and Clueless) Horse

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Stuck in Bizarro World

Da Bears!

What Was She Thinking???

Give Us This Day Our Daily Fisk

Monday, July 07, 2008

Riddle For You

Quote of the Day

Sunday, July 06, 2008

It's a Pity the Victim Wasn't Armed

All This Can Be Yours For Only $169 a Night!